- Thou shall never ask a man on a date
Honeys, men are natural hunters/gatherers. They live to please, provide for, and protect us. By asking them out, you are trumping Mother Nature and thereby messing up the natural order of how things work in life. Darlings, por favor…don’t do that! How would you like it if your man showed up for a date and expected you to open the door for him, buy him flowers, or pay for his meal?
- Thou shall know what you bring to the table & cultivate it fiercely
Being confident in your skills, talents, abilities, and uniqueness is paramount to your success in today’s dating world. Being able to cultivate these facets of yourself means the difference between repeat dates and being single. A common mistake I see young women making is falling for the myth that being “pretty” is all one needs to attract a quality mate. Loves, this could not be further from the truth. Cultivate that which is eternal, and you will always have something to offer your future partner. No man ever became bored with a multi-lingual, talented, ambitious, and attractive woman!
- Thou shall not fall prey to thinking looks are everything (yours or his)
Piggy backing on #2, looks are not everything. Attractive people can say and do very ugly things. Don’t stay stuck in a relationship, friendship, or any other type of ‘ship’ because of appearances. A deep sense of intellect, a great sense of humor, a witty communicative style, and a complex set of analytical skills are invaluable in comparison to a dolled up face, and a hot body. Don’t get me wrong, it is absolutely essential to put your best face forward. But, don’t ever forget that the physical will inevitably change and ultimately, fade away. Instead, appreciate all that is beautiful in life, but work hard to build a foundation on something timeless.
- Thou shall understand it is all about how you make him feel
Men choose their mates based on many factors, but the woman they adore is the one who makes them feel like a man. Ask yourself this—do you prefer to be wined and dined, or just given a pretty gift and left alone? Chances are, you probably will remember the gift that was presented to you in a thoughtful and romantic way, rather than one that is just given to you. This translates into learning about what you uniquely provide to others, and synthesizing it into your daily interactions. This, lovely swans, is your je ne sais quoi. Learning how to make a man feel like a man can take time. It is worthwhile to discover this early on in any courtship, so start now!
- Thou shall follow the four man plan
The Four Man Plan is based upon a great dating book by the same title I read in my apprenticeship days. What I learned was simple: you are either married, or single. If you are single, you should be dating as many men as possible. Limiting yourself is a dire mistake, that will surely only serve to prevent you from meeting Mr. Right. The Four Man Plan is a guarantee that you will not only remain active in your dating life, but also that you will not spend too much time with one man prior to him working to earn the privilege.
- Thou shall not get hung up on men—remember, they are like buses and trains
When you are observing #5, you won’t have time for hang ups! Darlings, the crux of dating is being resilient, open-minded, lighthearted, and easygoing. When we get stuck in heartaches and emotional pain, we wind up missing out on relationships with wonderful people. By remaining aware that NO man is an island, and that your possibilities for love are endless, you position yourself to attract it. Anytime a man chooses to leave your life, let him. Another will be right along shortly. Keeping this in mind helps us to remain firmly focused on the here and now, while also helping you maintain a sense of dignity and poise. And nothing is sexier than a confident, dignified, poised woman!
- Thou shall not tolerate anything less than kindness, care, and respect
As women, we have enough challenges to face in daily life. Be it work, school, relationships with friends and loved ones—we all deserve kindness, respect, and care. Begin to assess the quality of your interactions with men. How does he make you feel? Release the ideas that you have to tolerate a man who is emotionally, physically, sexually, psychologically, or financially abusive because you are afraid of being single. There is someone for everyone, so settling is not an option, honeys. A woman who loves herself will not allow a man to treat her as less than just for the sake of ‘keeping’ him. We get treated how we act, so, only keep company with those who cherish and appreciate you, and treat you accordingly.
- Thou shall behave like a lady at all times
Cupcakes, being a lady is so much more than wearing pretty dresses, and acting feminine. Behaving as a lady means understanding that we never complain, and we never explain ourselves to anyone outside of our circle of influence. When it comes to strategic dating, there will be moments when others want to nosily pry into your life, or make snide remarks about your choices in partners. Take heart—these people do not matter, and will be single long after you have attracted your ideal mate. Being a lady means remaining gracious and unbothered regardless of what the circumstances may be. It means maintaining a steel resolve to have and be the very best. Being a lady is an art, master it!
- Thou shall not make yourself too available, men love to be challenged
This commandment is an oldie, but goodie. Darlings, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Men will not work to pursue that which they know they can have anytime all of the time. Maintaining an air of mystery is no easy task, but it is something that each of us must learn. Mystery means not over sharing, being too available, or spending too much time talking on the phone, texting, or spending time with men until after they have made a solid commitment to you. Provide men with a challenge by mastering the art of playing coy, engaging them in witty banter, and by knowing how and when to pull back. It is not easy, but it is worth it. Don’t play hard to get, honey, be hard to get.
- Thou shall cultivate authentic confidence daily
Cultivating confidence goes so much further than merely pampering yourself with luxurious experiences and beautiful baubles. Authentic self-confidence comes from knowing who you are and are not. It is a form of deep inner self-awareness that manifests itself in the form of not settling for less. When you authentically know yourself and what you bring to the table, you begin to carefully vet the people, places, things, and ideas you engage with. Cultivate your confidence with various techniques such as positive self-talk, regular exercise, a healthy diet, journaling, uplifting friendships, and healthy relationships.